Thursday, July 16, 2009

MISSING: Chapter Un-Numbered

MISSING
Chapter Not Yet Numbered

One late night below many layers of many years of dried vomit, she would somehow take a deep breath and write:

I have few things I keep protected very deeply within me, so I am fine with being more or less open with everything else.

Secret - I do not want to give up those few things for ANYTHING; my guarded secrets comprise my self, my core.

That's the key though - to get me all the way, you have to get me to reveal my sins, my vices, my fatale flaws. Or anyway, somehow you have to come to know them. But I am giving up the game now, so by the end of this story I will come out and tell you.

The reason the femme fatale is how she is - fatale - is this: she keeps a few secrets locked; she appears absolutely flawless; she strategically chooses her few flaws - her fatalities - and indulges in them enough to sustain her perfection (yes, all thing in life have balance - yin and yang). She indulges in secret, so no one knows she is with vice.

I have become to depend on my bestiality. I am horrible and wretched with sin, and my sins grow inside me - more horrible, more wretched, more strong, and more intense. Each day I protect them they grow; I am the portrait of Dorian Gray: my survival depends on my ability to conceal.

If I give up my vices, I will not be able to sustain perfection, but if I revealed my vices, I will be wretched to society, and who but a desperate pathetic, distaff could ever want or love me? Moreover, I could never settle for deficiency or impotency in love.

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